Final Day

The final day of the 2005 Directors Lab


Yesterday was the final day of the lab.

Before I get mushy, I'll quickly go over the course of events of the day:

The first thing we had were presentations of the projects we have been working on all week. The project I was on was particularly grueling because it was extremely self reflective of the whole group. We examined an incident, and started to hear all sorts of responses we were not quite ready for . . . it tuned into a race/gender issue, which was not what we expected.

I've never been as intimidated as I was standing in among a group, reciting their own words back to them. There was a certain air of fear among all of us in the group, not that we would fail, but that we would too greatly succeed. We were afraid that our piece might provoke incidents that it shouldn't, certainly not on the last day of the lab.

It went off without a hitch. Everything was great, people kept commenting about how they were grateful that we approached this subject, and how much they enjoyed it. It was very surreal, and feels like it was many moons ago . . .

We then approached our final discussion group, kind of a wrap up session . . . we talked about how to use all of this information, and where we needed to go from here as artists. There's a very strong sense of community in this group. We all truly like one another. It's absolutely AMAZING how much I've bonded with these people over the course of 3 weeks. 3 WEEKS!! I've only them for 3 weeks, and these guys feel like the best of friends. I'm very emotional right now.

Okay, quickly moving on. We moved into the pizza party, and from there said our goodbyes to those who couldn't make it to the Karaoke thing that evening. The goodbyes begin . . .

I then headed over to Sean's to see him before I go because "Well dude, I'm working for the next two days so I don't if I'll get to see you if its not tonight." I oblige.

Then to the Karaoke bar . . . me and my theatre fags friends . . . amazing. This was a LOT of fun. No, I didn't sing, sorry to disappoint, but the bar was spacious, and the drinks were moderately priced, and all of my favorite people from the lab were there.

Just a side note: I had heard this from this guy Dominique and figured he was messing with me, but I got confirmation last night. Apparently a bunch of the girls and a few guys went to dinner the other day and started talking about their "Top 5 in the lab" (too hook up with, just to clarify) We all know how self degrading I am when it comes to that sort of stuff, so when I learned that I was one of the most popular ones in the lab, I was floored. It was also decided that I was officially the "Coolest" guy in the lab . . . I guess there is hope for me after all. (Please note, the previous was for journal use only, any further mention will be disregarded . . . because I'm so damn self-conscience . . . this is the one area where I do not toot my own horn so to speak)

The bar was the bar . . . we all got very drunk, we sang songs, we jumped around, I told Catherine to leave her husband and come with me, she said okay, we traded hugs, we said goodbye, we tried to get every last second out of those who were leaving . . . I wonder who of these people I will ever see again . . . email is a great thing, but I wonder if I'll ever do the handshake pull into hug thing with Keith again . . . I wonder if I'll ever get to lend my hoodie to Ashlie or be told "You give great hugs" by Lauren . . . or teach Fredrick what "daps" are . . . or fake battle with Mike Lew . . . there's something deep inside of all of us that begs to be touched . . . and I've been very touched for the past 3 weeks.

Okay, so after the bar, we (our numbers are dwindling) went to Rebecca's house and immediately climbed on to the roof. We sat, we chatted, we told jokes and stories . . . we watched as the sun rose over the east river, and marveled at this thing called New York that we have very much been a part of for the past short while. The city is stunning. The city is magic. I've always loved nature, but there's something remarkable about seeing the culmination of centuries of man's work . . . we built that . . . humans . . . amazing.

So afterwards, we head to breakfast, we lose Greg, Alexandra, Molly, Rebecca, Matt and Snahal. The breakfast is amazing (although still being drunk helps). We continue to enjoy each other and embrace everything that we have gained from this experience. We head for the subway . . . it's now 7:30 AM and the world has awoken.

We take the F line into town to the West 4th stop. We lose Fredrick and Jason.

We then head to the ACE train. We lose Ashlie, Kevin, Lauren, Kathleen.

We head uptown . . . towards Union Square. We lose Mike.

We then come to 59th. Jakob departs the train, and I am alone.

I ride the subway not knowing if I'll ever see these people again. These newly discovered friends that I will miss dearly. I ride the subway, sleepily thinking of everything that has happened . . . this might truly have been the most amazing time in my life. I'm very much in love with everyone in my lab . . . no animosity . . . I love all of those guys and gals . . . I have been blessed to have been given this opportunity, and I will remember it always. These are some of the most amazing people I have ever met, and I'm so lucky to have met them. Okay, now that I've made myself cry, I'll stop this journal entry . . .

To the 2005 Directors Lab. You'll forever be a part of who I am. Cheers.