So . . .

I get a call this morning from an automated system that says I need to call the "Law offices of Jackson Charter and Collins"

I bite . . .

I call and asked what number I dialed.

"I don't know, whatever was on your automated message"
"well, sir, we have a lot of extensions . . . do you know which called you."
"No, what is this regarding?"
"Well, we need to know what extension to find that out"
"Okay, so you have a bunch of automated calls going out?"
"Yes, can you tell me what number you called?"

I finally look at my phone and tell her.

I get transferred.

"Good Morning sir, can I get your social?"
"No, what is this regarding?"
"Well, I won't know until I look up your file?"
"Okay . . . and for that you need my social . . ."
"Yes, sir."
"What COULD this be regarding?"
"Sir, I won't know unless I get your social"
"What does this law firm specialize in?"
"Alot of of different things, can I please have your social?"

OKAY, NOW THIS IS GETTING FUCKED UP . . .

"No, you can't, if you can't tell my what realm this could remotely be in, then no, you can't have my social"
"Sir listen, my time is valueable as I'm sure you're is to..."
"You have no idea."
"...But I can't find out anything until I get a social."

I give them a fake social and say:

"What is this regarding?"
"Okay, now can I get your name?"
"How about I just give you credit card numbers right now?"
"Excuse me?"
"You can't have my name."
"Sir you can either give me your name or just find out what this is about later in court."
"Honey, you're going to have to be much better at this next time"
"Excuse me?"
"You'll have to try just a little bit harder if you want to pull this off, you're pretty bad at this."
"Have a good day sir."
"Go fuck yourself."
Click.

I call back.

"Jackson, Charter and Collins, can I help you?" (or whatever the fuck it was)
"Yes, what law firm is this?"
"Jackson, Charter and Collins . . ."
"I couldn't quite understand you, could you spell that?"
"Who is this?"
"This is someone who got a call from you and wants to look you kids up."
"Do you know Keisha?"
" . . . . No . . . . I don't know Keisha . . ."
"Then disregard the call."
Click.



Wow . . . that was a hell of a morning . . . I then called the FTC or FBI or someone and told them . . . nothing will be done, but shit . . . that was a hell of an experience . . .

Moral of the story . . . if you try to steal my identity, you better have a better line than "we specialize in a lot of things."

Bitch.

Where you may see Nico . . .

These are the shows I'm planning on going to (if I don't end up in Austin for SXSW or out of town on a gig)



Fri 2/25 Secret Machines  / Moving Units  / Autolux  (Trees)

Thu 3/10 Cowboy Mouth  (Gypsy Tea Room)

Sun 3/13 Kings Of Leon  / The Features  (Gypsy Tea Room)

Tue 3/15 Hot Hot Heat  / Louis XIV  (Trees)

Wed 3/16 French Kicks  / Ambulance LTD  / VHS or BETA  (Trees)

Wed 3/16 Trash Can Sinatras & Clem Snide  / Troubled Hubble  (Gypsy Tea Room)

Sat 3/19 The Futureheads  / Shout Out Louds  / High Speed Scene  (Gypsy Tea Room)

Sun 3/20 SON VOLT & Anders Parker (Aardvark - Ft. Worth)

Fri 3/25 The Mountain Goats / Black Mountain / Crystal Skulls

Thu 3/31 The Decemberists  / Okkerville River  (Trees)

4/25 Wilco (OKLAHOMA CITY, OK BRICKTOWN EVENTS CENTER)

4/30 Widespread Panic (Nokia Live)



Secret Machine probably won't happen . . . but I have a lot on my plate right now . . . this should be a good few months.

Quick Update

Two things:

I have an new lead actress and she's much better than the old one! FUCK YEAH!!

and

We have the gig in Upstate NY, it's just not next week . . . FUCK YEAH!!



Everything else is just as absurd as yesterday . . .

And . . .

These mothercukers in fucking upstate new fucking york won't fucking decide if want to fucking pony up the fucking dough to have their fucking dancefloor redone because their fucking insurance company is fucking them and they can't make up their fucking mind as to whether they so fucking suck it up and fucking hand over the fucking dough and fucking settle with the insurance company later, or the want to fuck around and waste our fucking time so we can't fucking nail down a fucking time when this is going to fucking happen, and in-fucking-stead we have to fucking block out a whole motherfucker week. Fuck those fucking fucks, I want my money. Fuckers.

Pissed

I just lost a fucking actress in this fucking show I'm directing and I had to fucking lie to my fucking boss so that I could go on a fucking hunt to find another fucking actress and considering how fucking difficult it was to find the first fucking 45 to 50 year old fucking actress, this is not going to make my fucking week a fucking cakewalk. I'm pissed.

Not having an internet connection sucks.

I'm currently in an odd situation, as I have no ISP at my apt. It was basically going to cost me at best (dial up) $250 and worst (DSL) $450. Now I'm resorting into sneaking into Medical Conventions, or trying my hand at the public library . . . it sucks monkey balls.

Okay, I'm pissed. I talked to my buddy Lucas who saw Bright Eyes last Monday in Fort Worth . . . I would have gone, however, I had a bad experience last time I saw him, and I was broke . . . mind you I could have found the money, but still the combination lead me to not go. So . . . Mr. Fucking Bright Eyes . . . Do me a personal favor, and never come to Texas again. Never schedule a tour through here, in fact, leave Oklahoma alone too. I'm in Dallas and that's just too close to me. Never come back. Pull your CD's from out shelves, ban any magazine with you on the cover, especially those pronouncing you the greatest songwriter of our time, pull your action figures from out Wheaties boxes, and please, please, please, stop allowing Texans to help support your whiney little indie ass. You sir, are from hence forth banned from our state.

This should make you happy since you put on terrible shows here. This should make you happy because you do not talk to you audience here. This should make you happy because you attempt to alienate every Republican Texan by speaking to you OBVIOUSLY MORE LIBERAL THAN THE REST OF THE STATE crowds. This should make you happy because when you come here you berate us and tell us how much you hate Texas. This should make you happy since you think all of us should abandon our roots just like you and move to New York. This should make you happy because you hate all of your fans here, simply because of where we live. And this should make you happy because this is where "W is from" and (this is a quote from you) "Thanks Texas for giving us a really great president" (mockingly of course).

Well pal . . . please don't come back. Thanks, but no thanks. I love your music. I think you ARE one of the greatest songwriters of our time. I think your opinions, when thought about before said and not run through a fifth of bourbon as a filter, are very intelligent. I'm very sad that you are no longer allowed in Texas, but that's just how it works. You're an asshole, you can't play anymore.

And FYI, 51% of this nation voted for W. How many of them listen to your music? How many of them help pay you high-toned NYC rent? How many of them go to you shows?

Obviously I didn't do a poll outside, but I'd make a safe guess that your crowd wasn't exactly a typical Texas crowd. I'd guess that you should be far angrier with those people in the Starbucks across the street than inside the venue. Just a thought . . . and even if they were . . . let's try saving the insults for after show . . . maybe when Texans were ACTIVELY paying off your fucking beach house. There are many a liberal in Texas sir. And you are doing you damnedest to make sure that we leave, instead of fighting the good fight here. YEAH!! THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO!! I'll give up all my efforts to raise the democratic vote in Texas, even though we are 4% points from being a legitimate swing state. I'll gather up all my democratic colleagues and head to NYC!! That's gonna make a difference!! You're right Connor . . . that's why WE pay you the big bucks isn't it?

Listen . . . you're a very emotional guy and I understand that, but please never come back here. I'll fly to Vancouver or San Francisco or INSERT LIBERAL CITY HERE to come see you. I bet you put on great shows there. Of course, it much easier when you are surrounded by people who love the music and just want you to do well . . . wait kinda like Fort Worth . . . or Austin (which you also stated that you "even fucking hate")


So I challenge you sir . . . to never come back, never take any money from a Texan, and never speak of this conversation. Please continue your ridiculous hatred of Texas as a whole and not the Republicans living here.

Goodbye Bright Eyes.

I hope I never see you again . . . Unless it's on cable . . . you playing Amsterdam or something . . . maybe hacky sack . . . that's liberal right? Hacky Sack? Hacky Sack in Amsterdam? Eh, just as long as you're happy. Because it's all about you sir, not those who pay you to alienate them, right? You immature little indie bitch.

Love,
I'll download the hell out of you, but you'll never see a dime from me ever again . . . in Texas.

Sorry . . .

Soon, I will have my scathing review of the Folger Theatre's Romeo and Juliet . . . I wrote it on the plane ride home and I haven't had time to type it in yet . . . Anyway . . .

I'm directing a show in the Out of the Loop Festival. We only have 2 performances there, but I'm trying to find a space to rent out so we can have atleast a weekend run after the festival. Out shows are March 6th and 10th . . . I'll get you times later. It's called Through a Glass Onion by Jason Stuart . . . it should be pretty good. You should come see it . . . if anyone has this website by that point . . .

Nothing but love

I officially have a man crush on John Darnelle. He is The Mountain Goats. He is amazing.


Deathray Davies are playing Saturday at the Barley House . . . you should go . . . yes you. I don't care that you live in Philly . . .

I had hoped this would be more often . . .

Ahh well . . . I'm so fucking busy I'm going to off somebody . . .

I smoked pot for the first time in a long long time last night. I take that back, I smoked some on Saturday night while in DC for the first time in about 6 months, so when offred it last night I just said sure. It was a very interesting evening . . . I got off work and my buddy Joel wanted me to go to the Barley House, because he had inadvertantly invited this useless waste of space named Tiffany to go with him. He then realized that he would be miserable and begged me to go with . . . I responded with, "Pay for my drinks and I'll gladly save you." Needless to say, I ended up there with the two of them. Now Joel, I don't know THAT well, but he seems like a cool guy . . . so when I couldn't take Tiffany anymore, I told him to meet me at Cosmo's when he could get out of having to wait for her to finish her drink . . . We had already said it was time to go, and down our drinks when she gets up. She has a whole cosmo (just to give you an idea of what we are dealing with) left and she decides to go look at and put money into the JUKEBOX!! I saw this and said "Oh no no no, did she just put money in there . . . sorry bro, this is your deal, peace." And off I was to Cosmo's...

I get there and Jackson is the bartender . . . Jackson knows me . . . Jackson likes me . . . I order a bourbon and coke, and recieve a double Maker's and a splash of coke . . . Joel arrives, and we bullshit, then there's a debate as to what we are doing . . . he says if you're buying I'm staying, so I say, okay, give him what I'm having . . . Jackson proceeds to say, "That's nice of you to buy a drink for a friend, I'll hook you up" He then pours 2 glasses of Maker's with a splash of coke . . . these are not highballs either, these are like ice tea glasses . . . needless to say, it was a very early (this was at 7:30 PM) drunk evening.

Still in DC

I'm really trying to get the hang of this thing. It's really nice . . . being forced into writing on a regular basis.

Today, I'm going to the Folger Theatre in Washington, D.C. to see Romeo and Juliet. I have a couple of friends in it, namely Michael, and I'm very excited to see how this is. I hear nothing but great things about the show, and I'm very happy that this business trip occurred, so I am able to see it. The last show that we worked on was Don Craven's "Like the Mountains" in Austin, TX. That was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life . . . I started that show by saying "Yeah, sure I'll come down and shoot some video for you . . ." to saying "Yeah, sure I'll assistant direct the show for you . . ." to saying "Yeah, okay, fine, I'll be in the show for you." It went from a week commitment to 3 months . . . very hardcore, and very impossible, but somehow we pulled it off.

So yeah, that was the last time I saw Michael, and the last show we did together . . . We generally try to to a show a year together, and thus, last night we began discussing the who what where of this year's extravaganza. If you have housing and an empty slot at your 100 plus seat theatre, please contact me at drnicomartini@hotmail.com

Last night was nice . . . nothing major, just had a couple of drinks at a couple of bars and chatted. Had the best damn chicken sandwich I've ever had in my life though . . . oh my . . . I told you I was thinking about increasing the amount of chicken I consume.

I feel like I have so much to write about, but nothing to say . . . I'll get it all out eventually . . .

My right now is:

"Theologians. They don't know nothing. About my soul."

Live from D.C

I've spent 45 minutes driving around the US Capitol building and managed to not be arrested . . . but somehow, I don't think this is some major feat, which is a little scary. I then managed to recieve directions, park, and was greeted by a man in Shakespearian garb, baring specifics as to how to get to 10 3rd St. I later found out that he was going to kill my best friend in approximately 10 minutes. So, I thanked the man, headed to my car, got my bag, and proceeded inside the house where I currently sit, updating my BLOG, watching Desperate Housewives, and waiting for my best friend to hurry up and die, so he can come see me after intermission. Tonight is going to be interesting . . .


So, I have been dubbed project manager for Sprungdancefloors.com . . . we'll get into that later . . .

I just had chicken for the first time in a long, time . . . . I should have chicken more often . . .

My right now is:

". . . this moment of clarity..."

Live from Prince George, VA

Well . . . it took me 2 hours, a subway ride with 2 transfers, a bus ride and an exchange to get the rental car that I had reserved today . . . I finally made it out of Washington DC, and headed to Prince George, VA to install a dance floor. I have never driven through as much snow as I did between DC and here! It was nuts! Nothing quite like driving through a blizzard while listening to The Shins . . . it was fairly surreal.

Tonight me, Cam, and Kevin went to Outback and got a little drunk . . . big timing in Virginia . . .

I love snow, it's a very amazing thing . . . it doesn't discriminate, it just happens . . . and it's beautiful.

This is going to be a very interesting trip . . .

My right now is:

"Our conversations are like mine fields"

Well, I always wanted one of these . . .

I love that this is the first posting on a blog that is not going to be seen by anyone for quite a while . . . I'm sure once I have a consistant internet connection, I'll be able to join other people's blogs and develop something out of this, but until then . . . JOURNAL IT IS!!

Alright . . . real quick . . . I'm leaving on a plane in 5 1/2 hours to go to Washington, D.C. This is the first time I've actually been sent somewhere on a business trip. This will be very cool, and I'm very much looking forward to it. I'm working for Sprungdancefloors.com this weekend, and I'm meeting with both owners, one I know VERY well, and the other I've met once before. Basically, I talked to Cam, the one I know, and he told me about his company . . . I took it upon myself to investigate further and quickly realized that there is a nice amount of money to be made doing this . . . and the BEAUTIFUL thing about it is . . . if I can get in on this and start helping everyone make more money . . . I can afford to direct more often, and basically where ever I want . . . this is my goal as of now . . .

The CD's I'm taking on this trip are as follows:
2 Mountain Goats CD's
Green Day
N.E.R.D
Jeff Beck
3 Mix CD's
2 Dispatch
Jeff Buckley
The Gray Albumn
New Faint
Widespread Panic
and some other ones . . . I don't remember, and they are packed . . .

The books I'm taking are:
The Empty Space - Peter Brook
Film Making at Used Car Prices - Can't Remember
Some book about the trials of Lenny Bruce . . .
Through a Glass Onion - Jason Stuart

The last is the show I'm directing right now . . .

I'm also taking a whole bunch of bid proposals for various jobs all over North America that need dancefloors sometime in the next 3 years. That and a whole bunch of blank paper.

I get to DC at 10:45, (I have a transfer in North Carolina, so hopefully my bag will make it with me . . . ) then I hope in a rental car and drive to Petersburg? VA . . . I hope that's right . . . I've got the mapquest directions in my folder . . . eh, whatever, that's what cell phones are for right??
Then I'll drive back to DC Saturday night, spent the night drinking and whatnot with my best friend Michael Urie who is doing a show at the Folger Theatre in DC (check out his BADASS review here) then I will see the show Sunday and fly home just in time to miss the entire Superbowl . . . eh . . . I like football and all, but this is WELL worth it . . . Go Pats.

I am, however, missing my room mate's birthday . . . Clay turns 24 tomorrow, so if you know him, remember Feb. 4th . . . He's going to Bob Schnieder/Deathray Davies on Saturday in celebration . . . I'm envious, but again, this trip will be greatness.

Alright . . . enough . . .

My right now is:

"Leaving on a jet plane, don't know if I'll come back again"