Trying to come to some sort of resolution

First of all . . . you should be able to post comments on here now . . . someone please try for me.

NOW . . . on to the blog . . .



I've spent a long time thinking about my future plans, and now I'm trying to exactly pin point what got me thinking about NOT going to NY . . .

I'm not quite sure what I'm going to resolve to do, but I do know this much . . . I have amazing friends. Thank you to everyone who has helped me figure out what's up with me right now. It's nothing major, but (God help me for quoting this crap artist) I seriously think I am going through a quarter life crisis . . . or adolescence . . . well, if the 30's are the new 20's . . . then I'm a fucking 15 year old I suppose . . . which would oddly make sense right now.

Anyway, I thought I should post 2 more responses to my blog, for all to read . . . I know they meant a lot to me.

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nico- no one can answer that for you but you. cliché I know but its true. what do you want? what do any of us want really? i don't think we all know 100% and i don't think we will ever know 100%. that’s the mystery of life. that is the chance you take. you don't have to make the right choice as long as you are making choices. you are allowed mistakes for so many reason. life is about learning and learning what is important to you. you believe you know what is important to you but the funny thing is that it is always changing. you grow and experience so much yearly, there is no way your goals won't change even a little. you can donate your entire life to science and realize one day that you really just wanted to be a singer. people do it every single day and it doesn’t' matter when you realize it, just as long as you are always looking for it but not letting anything else pass you by. I would say that school might just be exactly what you need. I want you to move here. I really think there is so much creative to be had but if you aren't sure and if you aren't ready to sacrifice anything for that, then go to school and take some more time. isn't that why we are all go to college anyway, to figure out what we want to do? Just don't use it as a cop out. Being scared of success and commitment and approaching life isn't a battle of the future, its a battle of the mind. i hope you aren't getting those confused. i love you baby always. New York will always be here. grad school will always be wherever it is. but don't let life pass you by on the way.

-April Gentry

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here is my comment:

Your obligations at this point are few. You have debt (welcome to America), yes, but you don’t have a wife or a child or mortgage payments or a super-duper best-job-ever.

As for not finding her, not finding the perfect job, not finding your 'calling' yet, it's just the universe's way of telling you to focus on you right now, on pushing yourself to do things entirely selfish and altogether a little bit crazy - it means you've got to do something different; maybe you haven't found those things because you're not in the right place to find them.

And by 'place' I don't necessarily mean geographical (although moving has always motivated me - I lived in 4 different cities, two countries, in 18 months, at one point). Youth is our opportunity to fight stagnancy, and if you feel like your life is on hold, it is your responsibility to shake things up before your obligations become too numerous and too heavy to allow any movement.

My thoughts on school? Don't do it to be safe, to stay in Dallas or to stay in your comfort zone as a student (no matter the location). Do it because the program scares you, because you think you might not be good enough for it, because you think there is a possibility to fail. Because otherwise, you could find it hard to push yourself to do more than get by, and we will find ourselves having this same conversation in a few years.

Take this opportunity to be selfish, to be young, to be crazy and a bit irrational. My advice? Pick the option that scares the shit out of you, and then go for it.

so yeah, there you go, my two cents

love you baby

-Kris Norvet

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My friends are wonderful. You all mean the world to me, and I hope you know that. I know that not only will I make the right decision, but I will have unending support from each of you, and that really does touch me. I have your love and support. THAT is truly all I need. Thank you.